internally

Then, internally, “If Renée could see me, I hope she would be satisfied, and would no longer call me a decapitator.”

Sometimes Albert would affect to make a joke of his want of success; but internally he was deeply wounded, and his self-love immensely piqued, to think that Albert de Morcerf, the most admired and most sought after of any young person of his day, should thus be passed over, and merely have his labor for his pains.